Starry-Eyed

Some of the most disconcerting panic symptoms I’ve had have been visual; there’s nothing like going about your daily business when suddenly your field of vision narrows, small flashes and floaters appear, or your pupils dilate, turning the world around you into a dizzy, dissociated haze of sensory overload. A therapist once made me sit […]

Getting Back on the Horse

  (You’re welcome) For me, at this stage, sometimes a “bad anxiety day” isn’t even the worst part. It’s the morning after, waking up with that unnamed sinking feeling, and suddenly remembering: Yesterday I failed. Again. With this thought comes a bleak kind of depression that can hang around for days if I let it. This […]

Lost In Space

  Falling in love. Falling asleep. Falling apart. Falling. A moment of total release. It can be a sublime or a terrifying rush, a transcendent, floating space, or just absolute quiet. Generally, one only feels this when one is truly falling, either physically or between mental states– out of an airplane, into unconsciousness, in a dream. For […]

You Are Not Disabled

“You are not disabled”. Some of the most useful words ever spoken to me by a psychiatrist. My first reaction? He’s wrong. I AM disabled. Look at how hard it is for me to leave my apartment and go to class every day, to socialize, to do spontaneous and unexpected things.   Then I took […]